The Necronomicon

You've heard some of the crazy things the US soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan
have been finding, right? Like, stuff from the palaces, stuff in old caves,
stuff in bunkers, like golden swords, big honkin' vases, expensive jewelry,
thousand year old lamps and stuff?
They found something big, just recently.
Some... marines, I think, yeah, marines, were poking around in an old cave,
and they found this chest, and in it was a collection of remarkably preserved
scrolls written on what seemed to be flesh.
Who here is familiar with the works of Abdul Alhazred?
Yep. They found a genuine first edition copy of his number-one best seller,
Al Azif.
You might know it better as the Necronomicon.